Who Will the Next Bachelor Be?

It is already out there. I watched The Bachelorette and I have also admitted to watching the Bachelor. I might as well keep going with this topic.

While my wife and her sister were watching the Bachelorette finale they were considering the possibility that the runner up Jason or even third place finisher Jeremy will be the next Bachelor. All of the previous bachelors have been at the very least what some would consider handsome men. I have my own ideas about who the next Bachelor should be.

Apparently the United States is running out of respectable eligible bachelors since we had to go to England to find the last one. Perhaps we should return to the U.S. and find someone who typifies many American men.

The new Bachelor should have the following characteristics. He should be divorced at least once and have two kids from a prior relationship. He should have a hefty amount to pay in child support as well as three maxed out credit cards. He should be driving a gas guzzling SUV that is so upside down on the loan that it will take three years before he can even think about unloading it.

The new Bachelor should have a 45 minute commute to his new job since he just lost his last one due to downsizing. Oh yeah, he had to take a hefty pay cut and is making about ten grand less than he was.

He should have at least one psycho ex-girlfriend/stalker to contend with. The new Bachelor never leaves the couch on weekends during football season and when it comes time for March Madness you might as well forget about it. After all he lost 1500 bucks to his bookie last March and he needs to stay on top of it.

The new Bachelor bowls twice a week. Actually it is only once a week. The other night he is playing cards at a buddies house.

Thank goodness his buddies house is within walking distance from the bowling alley since his new fianc is going to have to drop him off there every Wednesday because his license is still suspended from his second DUI.

Would that not make for a great show?

Now before you get upset and offended. This scenario is all in good fun. I know that there are plenty of swell guys in the U.S.

I just would not put former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey or former President Bill Clinton on the selection committee.

Dan Bimrose is the creator of coffeeandprozac.com, a website devoted to making people think, laugh or cry. Daily Opinions, Editorials, and Stories He suggests dropping bread crumbs so that you can find your way back on a daily basis.

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